My Dad

Ronnie Lee Kennady, man of Spartan descent, savage fighter, hunter, and most of all.. my dad! Well, he isn't of Spartan descent, he doesn't fight (anymore), or hunt (anymore), but he is my dad! My dad is the kind of guy that when he starts to tell a story you listen in because you know you'll be entertained. Over the years, I've found that his stories are better than those found in books. Because his are real. He isn't bragging, just reminiscing of days gone by. What always blows me away is that he is still alive! Thank goodness, because without him in my world, who would I be? He's my source of endless entertainment, happiness, my guideline to what I hope for and expect from a guy and the groundworks of me and my charming personality! Where do I even begin to tell you about him? There's so much to say! I guess you have to start somewhere.
To be continued.... ;)

I'm bored...I've got an idea, let's go hunting snakes!

One of the things about growing up that was so fun is all of our backhill adventures. We always had a good time out 4-wheeling and riding motorcycles, and one of the things that stands out in my memory as a favorite pastime while 4-wheeling was going out for a drive in our 1980 CJ-5 Jeep and hunting for snakes! This started when we were little kids, it was free to do and we all loved getting out. We'd grab our snake hoops which consisted of a long pvc pipe with a cord fished through it and loop at one end so you could catch the snake in the loop and hold him far away from you at the other end of the pole. We'd take off into the desert by our house usually at night with flashlights in tow and snake hoops ready to go. We had this wash we would always drive through that we called Rattlesnake Road because we typically always came across a rattlesnake or two laying across the warm sand of the wash. We usually kept the jeep stripped down to just the bikini top so we could sometimes access the snakes from the vehicle without having to get on the ground with them. Although dad usually found a reason to get up close and personal with them.. Sometimes we would catch them and take them home with us and let them go later. My brother and I would pester the snakes and they'd strike at the glass of the tea jar that we'd keep them in if they fit. Their venom would drip down the sides of it, kind of a creepy vision now that I think about it. Most of the time we just left them though, snakes never really scared us and they don't bother you unless you bother them. It's just a memory from childhood that I have that was so fun! When we'd have guests or family visiting that was always the thing we'd take them out to do was rattlesnake hunt! It was quite an adventure. Surprisingly, no one ever got hurt either! But there were quite a few screams!

Farts.. oh yes, I went there.

Farts... yes, one of my family's favorite topics of discussion and usually some of the longest, or longest sessions of laughing anyways. I know, we're super immature, but there's nothing wrong with having a good laugh, and that's exactly what we're doing. It has always been a comedic topic to us, with my dad having a response to every one that's let loose(not that I've personally ever had this since I don't fart) to reference it to some other sound than what it actually is. It's amazing, that being an adult, I can still be so entertained by them. But so can my dad, and he's in his fifties, so I guess that age doesn't always bring with it maturity. Oh, and he thinks he can pass off a fart as someone else having done it, but by some sick act of nature, you can actually tell which ones are his. It's not a talent I'm proud of, but we can't always help the gifts we're given.

While on the topic of farts, I'd like to reminisce to the days of when being the little sister in a brother and sister relationship royally sucks. I'm sure if you're the younger child you've been put in this place. This place is referring to most likely being pinned down to the ground with a butt in your face and a ferocious roar accompanied by a putrid nauseous killing scents that can paralyze you with one intake of breath. Yeah, that's the place... thanks Travis for helping me build up my immunity to nauseous killing scents. I figure it's because my sense of smell was slowly killed off as a child, now bad scents don't effect me as much.

Oh, I also remember my brother showing me how talented he was, I wonder if he'll share this talent with his kids now? We've all seen it on tv, but have you ever tried it? I would not suggest it, but holding a lighter up to your butt during a fart does cause a flame. It really truly does! Scared me the first time, but then I found it hilarious! Oh Travis, you know how to make your little sister laugh, what a good big brother.

Just thinking about the last couple weeks, I can conjure of some dialog my dad has had in response to letting loose, and I'd like to share a few examples of such:"Amber, your phone is ringing" my response, "shoot.. I must've forgot to take it off of vibrate". "Geez Kelcy, the floor is real squeaky there isn't it?""Ope, someone's at the door knocking""Wow, did you hear that vehicle go by? That's a loud engine!""Whoa, your mom's talented. She learned how to throw her farts (like throwing your voice)", that's just my dad's way of blaming someone else for his nasty wind blasts of poo.The Gopher: When dad farts and then lifts his head to look around as if he has no idea where that sound came from. Looks just like a gopher popping his head up to look around.

So now here I am, living with new friends and new smells, and I await that first slip. It'll happen, it always does. Jake assures me that one day Courtney will corner me and try to take me down, but I'm prepared. I'll hold my breath and close my eyes to the toxicity that'll try to invade my body.

I know, this is a really gross blog... but you're the one that read the whole thing and I know you fart too! Well, you fart, I don't... :)

My Dad Got a Bloody Nose and I Passed Out… Ironic?!

How do you deal with seeing someone that's always tough and strong in a weakened state? When you suddenly become the caretaker to someone that has always taken care of you? It's hard and it's scary and apparently I don't deal so well.
During my dad's shower that evening he got a bloody nose that just did not want to stop. Ice was held to it, toilet paper, the head held back, head hung over the sink for a while….everything. But to an avail, it just kept running. We were getting worried and thinking that maybe we needed to take him to the hospital for some help to stop it, but finally after several hours it stopped. I wouldn't put it past my dad that he had just been picking his nose, but that definitely wasn't the case! It just started and stopped out of nowhere.

Later that night, or actually very early the next morning my dad woke up with a throat full of blood that had pooled while he was asleep. After a rage of coughing the wads of paper towels began to keep the blood at bay. It slowed but never really stopped until after I left for work. Dad obviously wasn't able to carpool into work with me that morning like we usually do and my mom was planning to stay home to keep an eye on him, but the bloody nose receded and he seemed to be doing ok she went ahead and went in. The plan was to call every hour and check on him. I spoke with my mom around noon and she said that he had been reading a book all morning and doing fine. Just sitting up and not moving much to try and not stir things up. We figured everything was fine. Dad said he was doing ok and we figured we were good to go.

I got off work and arrived home just before 4pm. I took my time and changed into some comfortable loungewear and then realized I hadn't seen my dad yet. I noticed the back bathroom was open and noise was coming from it. I took a peak through the doorway and found my dad hanging over the sink with blood soaking his beard and mustache, spitting up blood and a steady flow coming through his nose as he tried to hold an ice pack to it. He looked so weak and terrible, barely seeming like he could hold himself up. The floor had his clothes and rags on it soaked in his blood and the overall image was pretty disturbing to me. Who thought a bloody nose could go so bad?! I get them all the time, no biggie. But this was getting scary!
I told dad that we had to go to the hospital, that he was losing too much blood. I asked him how he felt, if his head felt strange or anything and he kind of shrugged it off and acted like nothing was that bad. But just from that I could tell he wasn't feeling well. He had lost so much blood and it was coming in such a heavy flow that it was going down his throat causing him to have to keep spitting it up as well. I called my mom and told her we were going to the Emergency Room. She was just getting off work and said she'd meet us there. I gathered some towels, an ice chest and some snacks for my mom in case her blood sugar got low. I got my dad out to the car and I was trying to stay calm as I watched him just sitting there barely able to talk just spitting blood into a towel. It was really scary to me and making the decision to take my dad to the hospital is one that I didn't want to make. But it was really the only option at this point. As I was racing off to the hospital as if I had a pregnant lady next to me and I was the soon to be dad, my dad was able to tell me that I should slow down. Hahaaa… he at least was doing well enough to know I was speeding! We got to the hospital in record time, maybe race car driving should be a new hobby for me. My mom had already signed my dad in and they immediately checked his vitals to assure he was ok. His blood pressure was high from the stress obviously which didn't help to slow the blood flow down. We then waited until a Doctor was available and my heart was trying to calm down.

We were finally called into a room where the Doctor began explaining how he planned to stop it from running. By using some sort of concoction of powders and my dad blowing his nose really hard to get all the clots out, they'd be able to spray it with something and seal it with the special concoction. As he was explaining this to my dad, my mom was sitting in a chair facing my dad's hospital bed, the Doctor was facing him as well and I was leaning on a wall just behind my mom. That's when I began to feel an overwhelming sickness invade my head and stomach. The feeling made my head spin and my stomach was squeezing in on itself. My breathing got harder and I couldn't deal with the sickness in my stomach anymore. My body felt like it was caving in on itself and my head was getting way too heavy for my neck to support. I started to slide down the wall because my legs didn't feel like they had any muscle in them to hold me up. That's when I went down! The cool floor felt so nice on my suddenly sweaty body, it was just me and the cold floor. It felt so lovely in comparison to my too weak legs trying to hold me up and the nasty feeling in my stomach. Everything was gone for a second and then I heard my dad ask my mom "what's wrong with Amber, why is she on the ground?" He was the only one facing me and had saw me laying on the ground. Then I was being picked up by a nurse and Doctor and put into a hospital bed that was right outside my dad's room. I didn't know what was happening but I couldn't control it. The room was spinning, I was crying for no reason and I couldn't stop shaking and was drenched in sweat. I think it was the adrenaline and the fact that it scared me and I guess I just don't deal with that type of stress so well. The Doctor went and got me a piece of cake, it was absolute torture, but I managed to eat it. A wet rag for my forehead, some milk and a cup of water. It took a while for the crying to stop, just a strange reaction of mine but I was starting to feel better. The Doctor thought my blood sugar had gotten low from the spike of adrenaline and the cake seemed to help. So my mom kept going back and forth to check on my dad and then me outside of his room. The whole thing was pretty embarrassing. My dad was the patient, not me! They had even asked my mom if I needed to be checked in and she told them I just needed to calm down and would be fine. It was entertaining I guess, although I had been planning on relaxing that evening and I definitely didn't get to do that. Finally when we were both given the ok to go, the question was brought up of which patient would drive which patient home? Hahahaa.. I drove of course! But it seemed like such a ridiculous scenario. So yeah, that's my story of what happened. Dad's good now and it hasn't happened again. We believe that he had too much aspirin in his system and it was thinning his blood. He recently had knee surgery and the pain has been cumbersome so that's been helping. But it's Tylenol from here on out baby, no more bloody noses for him!

Adventures In Carpooling

My Dad and I carpooled together for quite a while, and during this time, I really came to know my dad pretty well. 80 miles a day sitting next to someone gives you some quality time together. What I realized is I got my temper from my Dad, and almost everything related to driving irritates him, just like me! Hey, I've been driving back and forth to Tempe from Casa Grande for about 4 years. My dad has been doing it for about 30 years. It starts to get to you.

Sometimes the things that come out of his mouth are so random that they make me just crack up! Other times I just have to bite my tongue.
A few of his more common statements while on the road are:
"I wish I could install a rocket launcher on here and blow everyone off the road." This is an ongoing joke and every year I promise him one for Christmas. One day, it'll happen and he's going to poo his pants! But that'll be after he blows a few people off the road, or until the rockets run out!
"Does anyone work anymore?"
"Doesn't anyone ever stay home anymore?" Hmmm... that one kind of contradicts the other one right? But they're both referencing the same thing. Why the heck are so many people on the road and not at home or at work? Yep, I think I figured that one out!
"Everyone and their mother must be out today"
My dad is under the impression that anyone that is driving badly must be on their phone. So every time a vehicle swerves a little the first thing he says is "they must be on their stupid cell phone, probably texting someone". Even when they're not and I can plainly see they aren't he still swears that they are. As we pull past them he's glued to the window looking to see if they're messing with their phone. They could be doing anything and he'll be convinced that they were playing with their phone.
He's also decided that every trucker on the road is an idiot. I guess when you work at a warehouse and deal with them all the time you can gain some animosity towards them if the interactions between them aren't so pleasant. I think that's generally the case with everything at work! But work, that's a whole other topic! Although we do drive a lot, more than the average joe and you do start to get a bit tired of all of the silly road shenanigans that are on going and seem to be getting worse. Although it's not like I help the situation, I have quite a temper when it comes to driving too. What's really scary, is when we're both mad. Now there's some road rage coming at ya!

Heat, a broken down vehicle and Wal-Mart..bad combo

This is an old story now, but still a goody... about the crazy side of me that we must pray never comes out. Maybe only in very special circumstances. So I thought I'd post it on my blog, but you may have already read it, so if you have...don't worry, I'll post more stuff. Here goes!

Before I left work my mom calls me and says that her vehicle won't start and that she had to leave it in the Wal-Mart parking lot and a co-worker had brought her back to work. I work in Tempe, live in Casa Grande, I'm off at 3, So that meant that I had to go get my dad at 3:30 like usual (we carpool) and then head out to the Special Ed office where my mom was at (other side of the train tracks in Casa Grande) and pick her up. My dad doesn't take the news so lightly and instantly becomes irritated that something is wrong with the Toyota and goes into Mr. Grumpy Pants mode. We get mom finally and we go on over to Wal-Mart, where when we show up there are vehicles that are parked and surrounding the Toyota so that there's no way to get to it making it impossible to even try to jump start it. We assumed that it was the battery and it would just need a quick jump. The thing that sucked is my mom had tried to arrange like 5 grocery carts in front of the vehicle so no one would park there while she was gone. There was no worry that they'd be put away, we are talking about Wal-Mart here! But someone instead parked and just pushed the grocery carts up with their vehicle and left the rearend of their vehicle hanging half way out in the road! I went into Wal-Mart hoping for some assistance with locating the owner of the vehicle next to us by providing the license make and model and had a Wal-Mart employee page the owner so they could move their vehicle. In the meantime dad is outside working on the vehicle seeing if it's anything else he can do while we're waiting. Mom has multiple sclerosis and rosacea and can't be out in the heat, so she came in with me after a few minutes outside with Mr. Grumpy Pants. The paging doesn't work and after about a half hour we went back out and the vehicle next to us had moved! We quickly pulled my car around and parked it sideways. The Toyota wouldn't take a jump start! We headed into Wal-Mart and decide to just buy a battery. There's two different ones for that vehicle and we had to go back out to remove the old one to compare and see which one we needed. My mom stayed inside and I was sent back out after dad hasn't returned for quite a while to see what the deal is. The stupid battery was stuck so I tried to help him get it out. Mind you, it is 105 degrees out, I'm just from work in white capris, high heels and my blouse, and things are not going our way. You guys all know me, I'm a happy person, good attitude, positive, I look for the bright side. Please remember that after this! hehehee...So this guy, about 18 years old and his mom pull up a couple spaces down from where we're working under the hood. The boy gets out, mom stays in the car and as he's walking by us he grabs a grocery cart and shoves it at our vehicle!!! I could not believe what he had just done. It wasn't like he was moving it, he intentionally just pushed it and let it roll right at our vehicle forcefully. I know he wasn't expecting it, I think he didn't even notice my dad and I standing around the corner working under the hood. But I came running around the corner hollering "whoa whoa whoa, stop it!" He had enough time to react but he didn't do anything. So the grocery cart rams into the vehicle, I ask him what the hell his problem is and why he did that? He says "what, it didn't cause no harm, get over it" and I about blew a fuse on him! I started hollering at him telling him he was an inconsiderate little punk a$$ kid and he had no respect and that he was a pu$$y and I should kick his a$$... yeah, I was hot, physically from the stupid heat and mentally. I just couldn't stop, I seriously wanted to hurt him. It was how he just didn't care at all about what he just did and didn't think he needed to say sorry or anything. He just kept on walking away from me and I just kept hollering and making a scene. Every time he'd turn around I'd holler "yeah, I'm still talking about you, keep walking unless you want to get hurt". It was such an insane feeling in me, where did this come from? Then I realized his mom was still sitting in the car and I hollered over to her "I bet your real proud of your son getting b!tched out by a girl for being such an a$$hole. Great job on raising him". Of course no response from her either. So that was about it. We finally got the battery out, got a new one and several hours later we got home! It was a bad evening, we missed yoga class also so that was disappointing and I think I could've used some major stress relief that evening. On a positive note, my dad was very proud of his little girl! hahahaha... rage is a crazy feeling. He's pretty insane too and I think I got a touch of that Kennady temper at that moment going through my veins. Wow... so there's a side of me you probably don't know! I don't really know it either and I'd like to keep it tucked away for very special events such as punk kids pushing grocery carts into our vehicles... the little turd! hahahaha...

Jackass... no, not my dad, a real one!

Isn't it every person's dream to come across a donkey running loose in your neighborhood and to hop on his back and take off riding? Not mine, but it sure was for my dad. I'm just happy his dream came true, but it would've been better if the donkey didn't buck him off as he took off riding. Let me set the scene up for you so you can get the full picture of how ridiculous this whole thing was. It was during the summer, my brother and I were probably in our early teens. The neighborhood was a buzz with kids running around on their bikes and playing in the desert outside. It was evening time, just about the time that the ice cream man liked to make his daily neighborhood round. We're in our yard and we see a donkey go running past us. It belonged to the family down the road and he was free and loving it! We of course need to get out and investigate this loose donkey with the rest of the people in the neighborhood. My friend's mom was outside and my dad asked her if he was "ridable" hahaha... sorry, but that cracks me up! She gives my dad the worse response by saying "sure, you can ride him!". So off he goes to tame the donkey! At about the same time the ice cream man is beginning to make his way down our road. All the kids are out waiting for him to get to our area so they can get some yummy treats during the hot summer evening. Now with a big audience assembled, this is about the same time my dad takes off running, chases the donkey and hops on his back. He's on there for a second when one of the neighbor kids goes riding by on her three wheeler, spooks the donkey and he takes off with my dad in tow! He started running and bucking, my dad goes flying, and next thing you know he's face first in a desert bush. It was hilarious and is still brought up by people. He let a donkey get the best of him. The part that made it even more ridiculous is he was scared of my mom's reaction. That's where I come in hand. I was sent into the house first to distract my mom and talk to her while my dad snuck in. He of course had his handy dandy handkerchief/bandanna with him, so he used that to cover his face that was bleeding from landing face first in a bush. He went to the bathroom and tried to clean up the best he could. But how do you hide scratches all over your face? You can't! So my mom of course found out, couldn't believe how stupid what he had just done was, and it gave us something really funny to laugh about. Yes, that was the day a donkey got the best of my dad. Who's the jackass now?! :)