My Dad The Scavenger

My dad the scavenger. You can't throw away anything without him wondering what he could possibly do or make with your trash. Anything made of fabric, leather, that has rivets, studs, or beads. Something that is a container, has lids, zips, or the top pops off. At least once a month my dad goes into my closet and asks me if he can have one of my belts. He figures he can use it as a "nice strap for a possibles bag", which is just a manly name for a man purse! Of course you must also remember that he is a mountain man. A purse is like a gold mine to him and the same goes for an old pair of shoes! He gets so excited trying to figure out what he's going to do with our trash. I'll bring something out of my room to put in the trash and I see the wheels start turning in his head, so I make the offer for him to keep it and like usual he says "sure, I'll put it in the garage and see what I can do with it". You wouldn't believe some of the stuff he has come up with from trash and women's accessories. And to think that at his mountain man rendezvous where he wears this stuff other mountain men want his cool made-of-women's-accessories mountain man attire. But I love him for it, because it makes him unique and he just doesn't give a crap what people think. He enjoys what he enjoys and that's all that matters.

She was how big?! As big as a table?! Oh my...

My dad likes to compare things to give us a better mental of what he's talking about. Usually this is done when referring to the size of a person. For example he'll be telling a story and tell us that the person was big. He doesn't mean just big, but in his head he has this image of a grotesquely large person and he wants us to fully understand that. Then he'll start looking around the room (usually we're in the kitchen during daily work re-caps) and he'll look down at the table, open his arms out wide and say "she was as big as this table". In all seriousness with full conviction of his comparison. If the table isn't nearby and we're sitting in the living room or somewhere else, he'll usually point out that the person wouldn't be able to get through the doorway. This is what he does almost everytime. I truly believe that he thinks they're all just as big as the table or couldn't get through the doorway. Fortunately for them they can, or they wouldn't be able to walk around much.... I often wonder what things look like in his head. Like a table?

My Dad's Better Than Your Dad

Personally, I think my dad is one of the coolest, most entertaining fun people to be around... that is, when he's in a good mood anyways! And not stuck in traffic. Sometimes the things that come out of his mouth just blow me away they're so ridiculous. The stories he's shared, the things he has done, and just all the memories I have of my dad are hilarious. I know we all think we have the greatest coolest dad, but I can guarantee you that my dad is better than your dad! Okay, that's open to debate, but I'd be willing to debate you! There's some things that are just too good to keep to yourself, so I'd like to share those with you. Here goes...